Cinnamon Roll Sugar Cookies (v, gf)

Cinnamon Roll Sugar Cookies vegan sugar cookies gluten free sugar cookiesIt’s been so long since I’ve made sugar cookies. I’m not talking about since last Christmas or the Christmas before that.  The last time I made sugar cookies, I was in college and took a historic costume class, and I was giving a presentation on Marie Antoinette’s personal style. I made cookies in the shape of the Dauphine’s  hair to hand out during my talk.  I don’t know why I chose her hair, but then again, I don’t know why I chose to be a history major. I don’t know why it’s been so long since I’ve made sugar cookies!

Luckily, these sugar cookies really make up for that lapse. How good were they? Baked at 2 pm and gone by 6. I brought them to dinner at Jason’s parents’ house, even though the supply was already pretty decimated by the time we got there (not my doing, btw).

Cinnamon Roll Sugar Cookies vegan sugar cookies gluten free sugar cookies

Anyways, everyone ate them up. Even my brother in law, who told me that he “wouldn’t have tried them before hand if he’d known they were gluten free and vegan, and that he couldn’t even tell.” That reminded me of this Onion article, so I tried to avoid eye contact when he said that. Please read the article, it’s hilarious.

I think the best part about them was when my little nephew’s face lit up after having a bite. Making people happy with food is a pretty wonderful feeling, don’t you think?

Speaking of making people happy, my mom was peering over my shoulder the whole time I was making these, and may have mentioned one or two or three times that she doesn’t like the new blog name. I thought that I might as well explain it to y’all.

Cinnamon Roll Sugar Cookies vegan sugar cookies gluten free sugar cookies

It comes from a case of intentionally misunderstood lyrics. As in “we know they’re singing this, but it sounds like they’re singing this, and it’s funnier this way.” Lonely Starbucks Lovers.

The opening lines to the Avett Brothers song Laundry Room are “don’t push me out.” If you don’t know them, Google the live version, not the studio version, please.  Avett fans know that the boys absolutely adore cats,  which is why don’t push meow is an amusing alternate lyric. Sometimes we all need an amusing alternate version to life,  so I thought this was a pretty good blog name. *shrugs

Of course, you don’t need an alternate version to anything when you have a sugar cookie in your hand. These are nutty and a tiny bit under-sweet. I made them under-sweet on purpose because I don’t like a super sweet cookie and then super sweet frosting on top…and I knew I wanted the frosting to be really sweet. The sticky finger kind of sweet, the sugar coma on a Sunday morning syrup kind of sweet. This frosting tastes exactly like the kind of goo that comes on cinnamon rolls.    Which is kind of making me wish they weren’t all gone. Oh well, guess I’ll just have to make more of them. Darn.

Cinnamon Roll Sugar Cookies vegan sugar cookies gluten free sugar cookies

 

Cinnamon Roll Sugar Cookies (v, gf)

Ingredients

  • 9-11 roasted chestnuts
  • 1/4 cup pecans
  • 2 flax eggs (6 tbsp almond milk + 2 tbsp flax meal)
  • 1 cup of Bob's Red Mill GF flour in the blue bag, not the red bag
  • 1/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 3/4 tsp coarse kosher salt
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
  • 1/4 cup melted coconut oil
  • for the frosting
  • 1 cup confectioners' sugar
  • 1 tbsp almond milk
  • 1 tbsp corn syrup
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • food coloring, if desired

Instructions

  1. Grind the chestnuts and pecans to a flour. You should end up with 1 cup of nut flour.I find a get a finer meal if I add in a little bit of the GF flour towards the end of the grinding process.
  2. Combine the nut flour, the GF flour, the cinnamon, the salt, and the baking powder.
  3. Combine the flax eggs, the coconut oil, the vanilla, and the sugar.
  4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ones.
  5. You don't HAVE to chill the dough, but I always find it helpful. in the rolling and cutting process. I made the dough at night and didn't roll & bake until the next afternoon.
  6. Preheat the oven to 400.
  7. Roll the dough out between two pieces of parchment, to about 1/6th - 1/8th of an inch thick. Cut out the cookies -- you should end up with out 36-40.
  8. Bake for 6 minutes.
  9. for the frosting
  10. Combine all ingredients and spread or paint over the cookies. Frosting will harden.
  11. Enjoy with family and friends.
http://kitchenwindowclovers.com/cinnamon-roll-sugar-cookies-v-gf/

adapted from Ethel’s Sugar Cookies in the classic Betty Crocker Cooky Book

this is not sponsored content, I just like Bob’s 1 to 1 mix.

 

Berry Cream Pie (paleo and vegan)

paleo berry pie paleo pie vegan berry pie mini pie cute pie

If there’s one thing that I’m infamously bad at, it’s time management. I have a huge calendar right by the apartment door and I have to write stuff in big letters or else I’ll forget about it. And don’t get me started on my poor, abused daily planner. 

The wedding is less than three months away and there’s still so much to do. My aunt, who is pretty much a wedding expert, has this huge list for us and we’re trying to make sure everything gets done on time. We have all the big stuff taken care of, but we’re trying to nail down the details. Honey, I really don’t care what your dad wears. No, mom, I still haven’t found comfortable shoes yet.

Aaaaand the lady who sold me my dress assured me that there would be cloth leftover from hemming to make me some sleeves and there isn’t. So I might not have sleeves, which I had my heart set on. Plus, I’m going back to school and classes start two days after the wedding. So I have to get everything all set for that too.

paleo pie berry pie vegan pie gluten free pie crust cream pie

All this wouldn’t be a problem if I weren’t so terrible at planning.  (Why am I still writing, there are other things I should be doing right now.)

Luckily, this pie comes together lickety-split.

Mix, bake, mix, pour, refrigerate. DONE.

Now excuse me while I go find a mini pizza box to put the rings in. We’re having the ring bearer carry that instead of a pillow, as an ode to BGE’s pizza worship. Thanks to Jocelyn over at Inside Bru Crew Life for the idea!

paleo pie berry pie vegan pie mini pie berry pie cream pie gluten free pie crust

Berry Cream Pie

Ingredients

    for the crust
  • 1 banana
  • 1 to 1 1/4 cups of fine almond flour (it depends on how ripe your banana is. The greener is is, the less flour you'll need. If it's on the riper side, you'll need more flour)
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • for the filling
  • 1 1/4 cups frozen blueberries
  • 1 1/4 cups frozen raspberries
  • 1 can of chilled coconut milk
  • 16 dates
  • pinch cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla
  • for the optional garnish
  • 1/4 of a banana
  • 1/4 cup fine almond flour

Instructions

    for the crust
  1. Preheat oven to 350.
  2. Mash the banana.
  3. Add 1 cup of almond flour to the banana. If it still seems mushy, add the other 1/4 cup.
  4. Add in the salt and baking soda.
  5. Press crust evenly into a small baking dish (mine was a 23 oz stoneware oval dish, 9 x 6 x 1).
  6. Prick bottom of crust with a fork.
  7. Bake for 18-20 minutes.
  8. Allow crust to cool before continuing.
  9. for the filling
  10. Put the dates in a microwave-safe dish with enough water to cover.
  11. Microwave them 2 minutes and drain away the water.
  12. Puree dates in the blender and set aside.
  13. Microwave the blueberries until just room temp.
  14. Scoop the fat out of the can of coconut milk. Save the water for smoothies or something, you won't be needing it for this recipe.
  15. In a blender combine the blueberries, half of the coconut fat, and half of the pureed dates.
  16. Pour blueberry mix into the cooled pie crust.
  17. Repeat steps 12-14 with raspberries.
  18. Add the cinnamon and vanilla to the raspberries.
  19. You'll notice that there is a lot less raspberry mix than you had blueberry mix, because raspberries hold less water. That's ok -- it's exactly what you want.
  20. Put the raspberry mix into a pastry bag with the tip cut off. Drizzle over the blueberry mix and then run a knife though it to make a swirl pattern.
  21. Put the pie in the fridge to set, about 4 hours.
  22. for the optional garnish
  23. Combine banana and almond flour, shape or cut into little hearts. Bake for 10-12 min at 350.
  24. Allow hearts to cool before putting them on the pie.
http://kitchenwindowclovers.com/berry-cream-pie-paleo-and-vegan/

Strawberry Marshmallow Swirl Ice Cream

aka Dee Dee’s ice cream

strawberry marshmallow ice cream

I love my BGE. I love him to bits and more.

But he really likes to annoy me when I’m in the kitchen, especially if I’m working on a new recipe or something complicated.

He hovers behind me going, “Whatcha doin, Hun? Whatcha doin?”

He tries to sample things before they’re ready, plays the “I’m-not-touching-you” game, and chooses inopportune times to clatter his coffee mugs in the sink. He calls the kitchen “Hun’s Lab,” which I’m pretty sure is not a compliment. So I respond by calling him Dee Dee. He calls himself Dee Dee too.

“The only thing Dee Dee is allowed to do in the kitchen is make coffee,” he’ll complain, as I’m shooing him from the kitchen.

But despite all his mischievous ways, I really do love him. So I made him this ice cream, because he’s mad for anything strawberry. It’s perfect for Dee Dee from the show too – she loved pink and fluffy as much as she loved annoying Dexter. And this ice cream is very pink and fluffy.

strawberry marshmallow ice cream

You start out with your basic vanilla ice cream, swirl in some strawberry marshmallow fluff, and then top it with more marshmallow fluff.

This recipe yields so much fluff that you can’t possibly mix it all into the ice cream. That means you’re going to have leftovers, which means fluffernutters and strawberry marshmallow milk and strawberry marshmallow cookie sandwiches and anything else you can dream of. It’s going to be a good week if it starts out like this.

 please check out egg safety tips here and here before making fluff.

Strawberry Marshmallow Swirl Ice Cream

Ingredients

    for the ice cream
  • 4 egg yolks (you'll use the whites for the fluff)
  • 1 cup half-and-half
  • 2 tsp vanilla
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 3 1/3 cups of 2% milk
  • for the fluff
  • 4 egg whites
  • 1 1/3 cups of sugar
  • 1/2 cup light corn syrup
  • dash of salt
  • 3/4 cup of purred strawberries*

Instructions

  1. Mix the milk with the half and half in a saucepan and let it come to a boil.
  2. Once it boils, take it off the heat right away. Set aside.
  3. Get your mixer out and beat the sugar and eggs on high. Eventually they'll get lighter in color and heavier in texture.
  4. Add the vanilla to the egg-sugar mix.
  5. Slowly add the milk combo to the sugar-egg mix.
  6. Once it's all combined, put it back on the heat, on medium-low this time.
  7. Cook, stirring constantly, until it reaches a temp of about 160.
  8. Remove from heat and allow to sit in the fridge overnight. (you can skip this if you're desperate, but I wouldn't recommend it. It makes for poor texture. You need to let it cool at least.)
  9. Pour cooled mixture into ice cream churner and follow manufacturer's instructions.
  10. for the fluff
  11. Mix the corn syrup, sugar, and salt in a heat-safe bowl.
  12. Once the sugar and syrup are thoroughly combined, add in the egg whites.
  13. Set the bowl over a double boiler and heat, stirring constantly, about 4-6 minutes.
  14. Once mix is just hot to the touch , remove from double boiler.
  15. Beat on high for 5 minutes, or until soft peaks begin to form.
  16. Add in the strawberry puree and beat on high for 3-5 more minutes.
  17. to swirl
  18. Once the ice cream is finished churning, it will still be rather soft. Let it sit in the fridge to harden.
  19. Once it's hardened (at least 5 hours), place huge spoonfuls of the fluff over the surface of the ice cream. Run a butter knife through to create the swirl, like you would do with a marble loaf. Allow to harden at least 1 more hour before serving.
  20. for strawberry marshmallow milk
  21. It's so easy. Just mix a few spoonfuls of leftover fluff into milk and enjoy.

Notes

*I used frozen strawberries that I'd thawed and then thrown in the blender. I imagine you'd get the same results if you used fresh strawberries.

Be careful that your egg whites don't get too hot or else you'll end up with scrambled fluff. If you keep an eye on it, you should be fine.

http://kitchenwindowclovers.com/strawberry-marshmallow-swirl-ice-cream/

 

Ice cream adapted from Cooking Light

Fluff recipe adapted from Culinary Concoctions by Peabody

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carrot Spice Cake Ice Cream

Northern folk, brace yourselves for the impending facepalm.

Last Wednesday, I left work around 2:45. The only other person there was my boss, waiting for her husband to come and pick her up. We told each other to be safe and then I trundled across the parking lot to my car.

I got home at 7 pm.

Because of this:

derp

(photo from WRAL)

I was stuck about a quarter mile back from that, watching the ominous black smoke darken the snowy sky.   Everyone kept pulling off to the side and leaving their cars there and just walking home. If I’d had my running clothes with me, I probably would have ran home, since this happened less than 7 miles from where I live.

But instead, I sat in my car, alternately calling BGE to assure him I was ok, reading, and straining to see if traffic was moving. Which it definitely wasn’t.

The good thing (the really good thing) is that being stuck in traffic for four hours is the worst thing to happen in my life in two years. The worst thing that happened before that was my aunt and grandmother dying within a month of each other. That sort of wrecked me for a bit. And I was stuck in a job that made me miserable.

So I’d say life is going really well. I was even cheery when I got home. (Lie, I was cheery after I hit the bathroom)

I had a hot bath and a huge glass of wine and some buttered bread with a warm kale salad. It was good.

I also made this ice cream! It’s not just any ice cream. It’s low fat and full of veggies. Well, not full, but it has three carrots. Which is more than some other ice creams I’ve made.

As soon as I was warm again, I went right back outside and scooped up some snow to pack up BGE’s mom’s old ice cream maker. It made me feel all Laura-Ingallsy.

It was a perfectly comforting way to end the day. And I did have more wine after that.

 

P.S. Please don’t judge us too harshly. BGE and I are both northern transplants and even we found it hard to drive. The roads just aren’t well plowed and salted.

Carrot Spice Cake Ice Cream

Ingredients

  • 3 carrots
  • 3 cups of unsweetened almond milk, divided
  • 1/4 cup of molasses
  • 1/4 cup tapioca starch
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/4 teaspoon lemon zest
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 anise star
  • 1 piece of crystallized ginger (use regular ginger for paleo)
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 cup shredded sweetened coconut (omit for paleo)

Instructions

  1. Dissolve the tapioca starch in 1/2 cup of the almond milk. Set aside
  2. In a blender, combine the carrots, molasses, ginger, carrots, zest, and cinnamon. Mix well until the carrots are totally liquefied.
  3. Put the carrot mixture and the anise star in a saucepan over medium heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, for about 8 minutes.
  4. Add the tapioca mixture in and continue to cook for about another 8 minutes. Stir often and be careful it doesn't boil over!
  5. Remove from heat.
  6. Stir in the vanilla and baking powder. You may have to vigorously whisk in the powder, as it clumps up some.
  7. Fish out the anise star.
  8. Pour it into your prepared ice cream maker and follow manufacturers instructions.
  9. When it's done, put it into a separate container and top that container with the coconut. It will be the texture of soft ice cream at first, but will get harder overnight. Serve with additional coconut
http://kitchenwindowclovers.com/carrot-spice-cake-ice-cream/

adapted from the Creamsicle Custard

 

 

 

Creamsicle Custard with Lemonade Whipped Cream

vegan whipped cream vegan lemonade whipped cream

Creamsicles and lemonade are summer foods, but they’re borne from winter produce. The best oranges, the juiciest lemons, are always found in the cold months.

So this is as much a winter recipe as it is a summer one.

This custard is full of sweetness, but the whipped cream holds something back, letting the true tartness of the lemon shine through. Sort of like spring buds poking through the last winter slush.

vegan lemonade whipped cream

On the Avett  album A Carolina Jubilee, there is a lyric that goes “Winter didn’t die, she was murdered…..”

Let this sunny dessert be the culprit that kills your icy winter blues.

Creamsicle Custard with Lemonade Whipped Cream

Ingredients

    for the custard
  • 2 cups sweet almond milk
  • 1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
  • 1/2 cup turbinado sugar
  • 1/2 tbsp orange zest
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 3 tbsp tapioca starch
  • 2 tbsp coconut milk fat (from a chilled can of coconut milk)
  • for the whipped cream
  • the rest of the coconut milk fat
  • 3-4 tsp turbinado sugar
  • 1 tsp lemon juice
  • 1 tsp lemon zest

Instructions

    for the custard
  1. Combine the orange juice and the tapioca starch and set aside.Make sure you have no lumps.
  2. Combine the orange zest, vanilla, and coconut milk fat and set aside.
  3. In a saucepan over medium heat, dissolve the sugar in the almond milk. Bring to a slow simmer, stirring occasionally. This should take about 4-6 minutes.
  4. Whisk in the orange juice mixture.
  5. Reduce the heat slightly. It should be getting really thick and bubbly. Stir occasionally.
  6. After about 4-5 more minutes, take it off the heat and add in the orange zest mixture.
  7. Pour it into a 9 x 5 dish and let it cool completely. Don't touch the surface while it's cooling. Let it chill in the fridge for several hours.
  8. for the whipped cream
  9. Combine the coconut milk fat, the sugar, juice and zest in a bowl. Beat until fluffy.
  10. To serve, spoon custard into bowls and top with whipped cream. It can also be served in layers, like a parfait. Garnish with additional zest if desired.
http://kitchenwindowclovers.com/creamsicle-custard-with-lemonade-whipped-cream/

custard adapted from both hell yeah it’s vegan and baked by rachel.